Tuesday, June 6, 2017
I've been to the gym and back.
I got to walk and run outside this morning, to move through the day during the magic time, when the sun begins its dance across the eastern sky.
The birds sang me along, a chorus of joy for every step I took.
I tried to boogie to my workout playlist, but nothing was reaching me.
Instead of joy and awe, all I held was grump. Today I'm a grump.
I woke up with legs that feel stuffed with sand, a scowl, and a 'back-off' attitude. I can't see it, but I feel a heavy cloud over my head. It's deepening my scowl and of course frizzing out my hair.
I tried to take in the beauty all around me this morning. I tried to not be so tired. I was intent on being disciplined, mind over matter and all that, but grump trumped.
Where did this day come from?
What does one do when one wakes up under a dark thundercloud of a foul mood?
Well, I suppose here is where I should come up with something like, "The Top Ten Things You Should Do To Lift Your Mood" or something like that.
I'm not going to do that.
This is definitely not the first time when the grump has trumped.
We all have bad days and I imagine if we sat with it for a moment we could figure out where the cloud comes from.
Been pushing it lately? Working a lot? Not sleeping well?
Has that certain someone or that impossible situation set up residence in your brain and no matter how often you go over things you can't figure out a way to get away from it or make things better?
Did someone hurt you either intentionally or unintentionally and you feel like you just want to sit somewhere and lick your wounds but, "There's no crying in baseball", and you have to get back out there?
Do you feel discombobulated by the life stage you're in? Kids are leaving? Kids are getting married? Kids are everywhere because school is out for the summer? Kids are making decisions that you wish they wouldn't but they didn't ask for your opinion or your help and the best thing for them is for you to just let them figure it out? Kids driving you crazy?
Change is everywhere? Disoriented?
Did you eat too many potato chips with french onion dip last night on your way to bed and now you have a gut-ache, headache, and a sour disposition?
Is it a mixed bag of all of the above?
During the month of May I read a Proverb a day and even though I've probably read Proverbs a hundred times, I lapped it up.
I now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am not a wise woman. Humbled, yes. Wise, no.
So for what it's worth, I offer you what I've got if you've been trumped by the grump.
Here's a simple prayer for those thundercloud days:
Lord. Please help.
May your kingdom come and will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Please give me what I need today and forgive my attitude and unloving thoughts. Teach me about true forgiveness. Remind me that today is about you and your glory and not about me and my grievances.
Love through me today.
I need you.
I love you.
Empty me of me so I have more room to love you more.
Have mercy on me, a sinner.
at 5:15:00 AM