Naps. Books. Beach. Beauty.
And a bathing beauty.
But now I'm back. I think I'm back. I'm trying to be back.
When I head home to Canada for vacation it always takes me some time to settle in there. I miss my front porch with my midwest views. I miss our crazy dog. I miss my routines and friends. I miss my bed.
Slowly it loosens my grip. I let go. I settle in and before I know it, it's time to head back to my front porch and I'm not ready to leave. I want more time with my family. I want another nap. I want to lay down on the beach with an entire afternoon in front of me. Nothing but sand and gorgeous clear, blue water to take up my time. There are no clocks, no obligations. I don't want to go back.
I hover in a state of in between for about a week. Not really here, not there, not anywhere. I can get kind of grumpy. I'm lethargic. I see the work that needs done but I don't want to do it. I want what I don't have.
I think it was about Wednesday morning. I got up, stumbled down to my favorite perch on my couch, looking east. East. We drive east to go home. East to the beach. East to the sand. East to my family.
Stop! I gave my head a good shake, picked up my journal, my pen, and started writing.
I know it's not January but Fall is a beginning and therefore I wrote some resolutions in an attempt to jumpstart myself, push myself over the fence and get to where I need to be. Present. Here. Right now.
Here's my list.
1. Everyday I will write in my journal three things I'm thankful for.
2. I will get to bed early, continue my attempt to eat right and my daily exercise routine . Hormones are changing and causing a bit of chaos and I need to do all I can to be the best I can for those who need me most.
3. I will keep my I-Pod charged so that I can break out in spontaneous dance whenever and wherever the Spirit leads. It just makes me happy.
4. I will cut down on computer and TV time in order to carve out some stillness and quiet in my day. I hope to do more writing and reading.
5. Have people over for dinner more often. There is something so special about sharing a meal with people you love and admire. It doesn't have to be a fancy meal, it just has to be together.
6. Give away love. Give. Give. Then give some more.
7. It's time to set down the imaginary load I carry. I feel a heavy load of what other people expect of me and perceive me to be. I need to stand tall, step out in confidence and move forward in what I feel is best for my family. This is difficult with the beginning of a new school year. Activities seem to be as thick as morning fog. People are talking about soccer, football, softball, youth group, 4H, volleyball and I want to keep up. I want my kids to be as good as their friends. Wait. Stop. Think. Evaluate. Don't be afraid to go against the tide.
There you have it. We're back. School starts this week. New schedules. New routines. New challenges. Vacation is over.
Am I ready? I hope so. Ready or not here it comes.