I'm crying.

I'm sitting on our couch that faces our East window which is wide open, letting the day in. It feels cool, exciting, quiet and kind of tingly. Goosebumply.

The sun is running it's golden fingers through the leaves of our trees like a mother with her precious child. Her fingers causing light patterns to dance across my legs and this book I write in.

Read the words that turned on my tears.

Popular religion focuses so hard on spiritual success that most of us do not know the first thing about the spiritual fruits of failure. When we fail ill, lose our jobs, wreck our marriages, or alienate our children, most of us are left alone to pick up the pieces.....

When the safety net has split, when the resources are gone, when the way ahead is not clear, the sudden exposure can be both frightening and revealing....... To lie flat on the ground with the breath knocked out of you is to find a solid resting place. This is as low as you can go. You told yourself you would die if it ever came to this, but here you are. You cannot help yourself and yet you live.

Are you crying?

Finally, permission to not always have it figured out and be okay with that.

Permission to keep walking even though I have no idea where I'm heading.

Permission to lie flat and let His everlasting arms hold me right where I am.

Go ahead. It's okay to cry. Just keep walking.

P.S. Those words are from Barbara Brown Taylor's book - An Altar in the World.