I have a love affair with potato chips. In my opinion they are the perfect food. Potatoes, oil, salt, - that's it. Add in some crunch, a few ridges and yum, perfection.
I'm passionate about potato chips.
I've been thinking lately about what I'm passionate about, hoping to find I'm passionate about something. Yes, it's true I'm hormonal and during times likes these I find myself taking more time to think, to be still because I crave it and since I'm up in the middle of the night, grabbing a drink of water to cool down the internal inferno, I've got to do something. So, last night as I drank water and ate potato chips, I came up with a list.
I'm passionate about my kids. I love them. I would do anything for them. I sometimes surprise myself at the mother bear instinct that I have for them.
I'm passionate about dinner times around the table. It's our time as a family. It's where I hear about what's going on. It's where we make memories and form the bond that is us. We make plans, pray, hold hands, laugh, reprimand. It's where we are who we are. Don't mess with our time around the table, you may have to mess with mama bear.
I'm passionate about healthy meals, folded laundry and housework, all done in an effort to keep the machine running as smoothly as possible. Is it silly to be passionate about clean toilets? Maybe. I don't know. I am. I know I'm a product of my upbringing but I also see the value in these things for creating a home life my kids can feel safe in. I believe it gives them a firm foundation from which to jump from when it's time. I know I can go overboard with neatness and I'm trying to keep it in perspective. I'm getting better. This week, perhaps, is not the time to mess up my house, unless you have potato chips to offer.
I'm passionate about exercise and health. I simply love it. I found myself this morning spending too much time surfing the web looking for a healthy breakfast smoothie recipe. In my surfing I found workouts and information on chia seeds. Love this kind of stuff. Tell me more. Give me the latest information. Love it. Love it. Love it. It's all that and a bag of potato chips.
Here's the thing with diet and exercise. I started running 14 years ago right after Elizabeth was born. I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted when I was pregnant with her. I gained more weight than I was comfortable with. I did not feel good about myself. I took it out on those around me. Running became the thing I needed to do to maintain my sanity and my marriage. I guess I started running for Farmer Boy and the kids. I wanted to be the best I could be for them, to be strong for them, to be hormonally consistent for them, and running started that for me. It wasn't fair to them to be anything less. It's evolved to be sure. But as I age I'm finding it more and more important to be conscious of my health. In my opinion, my family deserves the best of me and the best of me should really put down the potato chips and go buy some chia seeds. I'm on it. My bag of Ruffles is almost empty anyway.
It's interesting how I measure my passion against the apparent passion of others. As I look around, I begin to think something is wrong with me. I wonder why I'm not passionate about a profession or a career. There's plenty of things at church I could, perhaps should, get passionate about. There's women's ministry, children's ministry, and a host of other excellent, worthwhile ministries. Here's the thing and I'm going to say it out loud right here. I'm not passionate about those things. I can't figure out why. They're good things, good things that don't really light my fire. Good things that seem to be a burden when I'm asked to help with them.
Can't figure it out.
I sometimes wish I was passionate about school athletics, or politics, or community involvement, but I can't seem to muster it up. I'm simply not. Now, if you tell me that my kids have to be at a sporting event during the dinner hour, you may witness some of my passion. If they would ever be asked to practice on a Sunday or a holiday - I'd be passionate about that.
I'm passionate about Christ. I want to be more passionate about him. It seems like I've been learning so much for such a long time. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever get it. Of course I know I won't. His love, his grace, his promise of abundant life, is so enormous, so magnificent, that I won't ever understand it. Perhaps the striving is the point. Wanting more of him, getting more and then wanting more again.
Today I'm passionate about the autumn leaves. I want to sit outside, hot cup of green tea in my hand, get in a comfortable position that I can maintain for a while, and just watch the leaves. That wouldn't seem like a burden at all.
Yes, I'm hormonal. Yes, I'm thankful. I think God uses all things, even my hormones, to draw me nearer, for it's in these times when I crave stillness and quiet that I take the time to go deeper. I will actually sit and think about what it is I'm passionate about. I believe these things should be thought about. To slow down, evaluate, make decisions on what needs to change, and then to set out. I suppose it's like a new beginning. During 'happy hormone' times, I don't stop very often. I'm wearing my I-Pod and dancing. I rushing here and there, chatting, singing, skipping, sleeping through the night and ignoring the bag of potato chips in the cupboard.
There you have it. My list of what I'm passionate about.
What are you passionate about?