Thursday, July 23, 2015
I'm here. I'm sitting in one of my favorite places taking in a beautiful summer morning.
This Summer has been my office job, time at the grocery store in my ongoing attempt to keep my apparently empty-legged teenagers fed, and lots of adventures that I will tell you about but not today.
Today I just wanted to pop in and say hello.
Today I wanted to say that all is well. I have laundry going. I have a plan for supper. I am getting ready to go to work. I passed two closed doors while I was gathering dirty laundry and I smiled knowing that my precious ones were tucked in and sleeping. Kelli is living in an apartment close to home this summer and last night she was home to eat dinner and to spend time in her room. She hasn't been feeling well so last night I told her to rest. She plopped on her bed, read a book that had nothing to do with engineering research that fills her daytime hours, and then headed to her apartment with the words, "Thanks mom. I love you."
I need to call her this morning to see how she's feeling.
So that's today.
Sunshine. A lack of humidity - at least right now. A cup of English Breakfast tea and slice of contentment, which, if truth be told has been a little hard to come by as I wrestle with what I should be doing with my life as my children grow older.
Does a tenure program for moms exist? You know, someone who says, we've seen how hard you've been working at this for 20 plus years and we've decided to grant you tenure. You can stay where you're at, maybe teach other moms some of your tricks, and we'll pay you to be fabulous.
And there it is. The thief that wants to steal my morning slice of contentment.
I enjoy laundry and having my sweet ones tucked in under sheets that I hung out on the wash line. I like my notepad that sits by my fridge with my weekly menu written out guiding me through dinner prep. I sit at my desk at work and wait for texts and phone calls that start with, "Mom, can you....." I listening to my kids chat and giggle as they hang out in Kelli's room together. I like to set a candle in the middle of our table after dinner is washed up and put away, so I can watch the flame dance in the dim light of our dining room to the music of a day that ended with all of us together.
It's difficult for me to want to do anything else.
Do I have to sit in an office? I know that when school starts the house is quiet and empty for a big chunk of the day but I really don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Am I grown up now? I know we want to help with college as much as we can but I have no idea where it is that I want to spend as much or more time at, than I do here at home.
More words than I intended but there they are.
Over and out for now.
at 8:32:00 AM